Solutions For Busy Moms Blog
Making Your Life Easier - Everyday!
Entries by SolutionDIVA (275)
The Solution To Family Chaos: Every Family Needs A Manager
Wednesday, October 8, 2008 at 02:44PM Before I get to today's terrific guest post, I just want to explain that I'm knee-deep in the Jewish High Holidays and won't be coming up to breathe till at least Oct 27th (when the kids go back-to-school) so if you don't see many blog posts for me -- you'll know why! (Even the best family manager is superbusy during this holiday season!) Meanwhile, here is a great article from America's Family Manager, Kathy Peel.
My husband and I started our family in the yet-traditional 1970s when most couples would wonder at Bill's knowing how to clean, cook and change a diaper. Wasn't that a wife's work?
In our case, no it wasn't. Early on, Bill and I concluded that even men can mop floors and drive carpools. We're in this together, we said, even when "together" breeches invisible walls between gender and responsibility.
In the absence of mentors or books on co-management, Bill and I cobbled a family model from the best of what we knew, including the Bible and the business world. As our home-management guidelines started to jell, our partnership evolved into a Family Manager mindset, a philosophy I've shared with millions of American families for 20 years.
Every family is an organization, and every organization needs a manager. Most often it is the mother; sometimes - because of salary, benefits, job security, and a host of other reasons - it makes more sense for Dad to be the Family Manager. In every case, the partner who answers the high call is no autocrat. To the contrary, he or she leads by serving. He or she shares responsibility, helps individual members find their niches and grow in them.
In our family, I'm the managing partner and Bill is chairman of the board. Bill and I are peers, colleagues, committed to a single mission and matching values. We both participate in home operations and take very seriously the job of building equity, if you will, into our home and family. We're a team, working toward common goals that advance individual success as well.
The family is a great invention. When it's working at its best, it's a uniquely loving and supportive place. It's where unconditional love finds rich expression and produces lasting rewards. However, whether we're office managers, Family Managers, or both, good management skills foster are key to success and a fulfilling, multi-dimensional life.
Every resource and service we offer is about helping you achieve just that. We're committed to your family's best and your personal success.
If you enjoyed this article, you really love Kathy's new book "The Busy Mom's Guide To A Happy, Organized Home" and for more personalized help in learning how to manage your family without losing your mind, consider giving yourself the gift of a Family Manager Makeover - based on Kathy's system. It's is an investment in your family & your sanity that you'll never regret!
How Do You Teach Your Children To Be Giving, Caring Citzens of the World? Here's A Fun Solution!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008 at 11:41AM When we first received our 21' Karito Kids doll, named Ling, I didn't know what to think. The brightly colored box was exciting -- what was it all about? My kids asked "Mommy, does she talk? Is she electronic?" "Nope...but this is cool" I tell them, "She comes from China...maybe we can learn about China...and she comes with a storybook and a 'passport.'" The passport has an activation code that you input into the website at http://www.KaritoKids.com. "Maybe that will make her talk," my kids thought...
Well, what I found didn't make the doll talk...but it did make my children THINK. Not just think, but think about children who were less fortunate than they were -- in a very positive way.When you sign into the website, using your dolls activation code, you are automatically given one "World Change" Coin. Then you get to choose which charity you want to donate your World Change Coin to. You can help children in different countries get enough food to eat, get the medical care they need, live in adequate homes or get the books they need for their schools.
After your children pick a charity and donate their first World Change Coin, they can play fun online games (that teaches them different cultures ) to earn more World Change Coins so they can give more charity! Apparently, this isn't all just fun and games - it raises real money for an organization called Plan -- which you can find at http://www.planusa.org/
I think this is a remarkable, innovative gift for any school age child. I love the idea of combining a toy, with a way to teach children about different cultures and helping others that are less fortunate than them.
Keep your Cabbage Patch Dolls and Tickle Me Elmos -- I hope THIS becomes the "Hot" toy this holiday season.
Think about it, it's not just a good toy -- it's a toy that does good for your child, and the world.
It just doesn't get any better than that. That's why I'm happy to give KaritoKids.com my Seal of Approval.
Move Over Crockpot -- The Rice Cooker is my favorite mealtime solution.
Thursday, September 18, 2008 at 07:43PM The crockpot ain't got NOTHIN' on my rice cooker.
I just LOVE my rice cooker.
This baby ain't limited to just rice -- oh no...
Let me tell you how I use it:
I cook EVERY KIND of grain in it -- quinona, cous-cous barley, teff etc etc. That means FRUGAL and HEALTHY MEALS For me and my family. (Cook them in vegetable or meat stock for a richer flavor) I love that I can set it and walk away and not have to worry about my grains burning -- that's a time-saver too!
If I use the "quick cook" setting the grains are ready in 30 minutes. Plus, it keeps my grains warm all day -- so I just make grains in the morning and add veggies and protein in it for lunch and dinner. It's very comforting!
I also use it to make eggs for my kids. It will keep them warm!
It keeps mashed potatoes warm too!
You can use it to make mac and cheese (and, of course, keep it warm until you're ready!)
And you can use it to steam vegetables or fish at the same time as you're cooking something else!
There are LOTS of other things you can do with a rice cooker. It's particularly great for gluten free meals.
To learn more about how a rice cooker can help you - go to You Tube and search for "Rice Cooker" You'll see segments from the shopping channel that will give you lots of ideas.
You don't need those fancy ones though, a cheap rice cooker will be fine to start -- you can always upgrade later :)
To get more use out of your rice cooker I recommend these great books!
No Solutions Today -- Just Sweetness...
Sunday, September 7, 2008 at 09:34AM I haven't posted any pictures of my children in a long time. It's time for an update. Here are a few pictures from our recent trip to New York. Enjoy!
Yosef (Age 7) & Shayna (Age 5)
At The L.I. Children's Museum
Mommy's Little Princess
Fun With Mirrors
Feel The Love
Let Me Make This Perfectly Clear: Balance Is NOT A Solution (I'll tell you what is...)
Friday, September 5, 2008 at 10:20AM I know I've blogged about this before...but it's worth repeating.
Lately several Family Manager Makeover Clients have come to me thinking that if they can just learn to schedule and multitask everything perfectly -- they can achieve "balance."
When they can't achieve the zen-like, airbrushed image of perfection that they have in their heads -- they kick themselves. HARD. Repeatedly. And the the downward spiral continues.
I hate to see it. It breaks my heart when I hear moms beating themselves up because they can't excel in every single department of family management and run a successful business/work-outside-of-the-home, AND volunteer AND spend more time with their spouse AND take care of their elderly parents AND find the time to take care of themselves properly, and go to every soccer game -- all at the same time.
I try to explain to these ladies that they need to give themselves a little break and a lot of credit -- that they are actually doing the work of several people all by themselves -- but it often falls on deaf ears. They continue to feel like failures - no matter what I say. The myth of balance is that pervasive -- still.
I have devoted a ton of my time and energy learning about the subjects of self-care,time management, family management and balance than and let me tell you -- BALANCE IS BOGUS. It's a myth that was created in an effort to try help women "have it all."
We grew up in an incredible era of progress for women (and I fully believe that it's a great thing -- but not without it's downsides!). We were raised to believe that "We could do anything we set our mind to" and that we could have it all -- family, career, and a life full of our own hobbies, interests and fufillment -- if only we learned to BALANCE our lives.
As Amy at MojoMom.com pointed out -- In reality, the idea that we must learn to "balance our lives" actually ends up meaning: Juggle Faster, Run Harder.
I wish I could obliterate the myth of Life Balance from the face of the earth.
What would I replace it with? Support.
Mothers would be much better off if, instead of constantly striving for balance, we constantly strove to gather support for your busy lives.
This would be a huge mindshift, in a country that was created by "ruggeded individualists" -- but it can be done.
The problem is that Americans, as a whole, look at the need for "support" as a sign of weakness. In the case of motherhood, support is not a sign of weakness -- but a sign of intelligent, stragetic thinking.
If mothers are expected to do the full-time jobs of at least 2-3 people, getting support so you can delegate some of the more rote or especilaly challenging tasks related to those jobs is simply a good management technique.
"Gathering Support" should be the new paradigm for motherhood. It is the only way to make any form of "life balance" within the reach of the average American mom. Why? I'll show you...
Stand up. Try to balance on one foot for as long as you can. How long did you last? (I'm guessing not very long) Now, try to balance on one foot, near a wall. Put one finger on the wall for support and to help you balance. Easier isn't it? Now put your whole hand against the wall for support. Much eaiser to balance now, right? You can last much longer without falling over -- correct?
Point Made.
Even with support - you still have to use your own strength to stay standing -- but you can stay upright much longer, without falling over.
Moms all over America are running themselves into the ground -- not because they have failed to balance their lives properly -- but because they are lacking the support they need from their spouses, their communities, and their government.
But what can YOU do to help you get the support that is absolutely essential to achieve any sort of life balance? On a political level, checkout MomsRising.org - which is currently demanding that the Presidential candidates make it crystal clear what they will do for moms if they are elected.
But on a more personal note -- to gather support for your busy life -- connect with other moms. Reaching out online is good, but locally is better. You need practical - hands-on support! Isolation = Depression for mothers! Join an organization like Mothers & More or Mothers of Preschoolers. Reach out to find friends among the mothers in the park or at your children's school. Visit girlfriendology.com to learn more about the importance of girlfriends. And more importantly, don't be afraid to ask for the help you need from your family, spouse, girlfriends, religious leader. Consider calling me for coaching or a Family Manager Makeover. Remember -- Motherhood should never, ever, ever be a solo sport.
