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« No Solutions - Just My Pride & Joy! | Main | A Solution For Lunch-On-The-Go »
Sunday
Sep032006

A Solution For Moms Who Are Perfectly Imperfect

Understand Your Mothering Style &

Feel Better About Your Parenting Skills

 

Problem: 

 You feel lousy about your parenting skills. You keep comparing yourself to other mothers who seem to do everything better, faster and easier than you.  You know the things you "should" be doing, but they seem to
"against your grain."

 

The Solution:

 

Description:


I've been a fan of Janet Penley since I discovered her book The M.O.M.S Handbook several years ago.  M.O.M.S stands for "Mothers of Many Styles".  Indeed, Janet teaches us that good mothers come in many "styles" (so stop being so hard on yourself and parent from your strengths!)

You see, Janet has spent the last 18 years studying, observing and teaching about the connection between personality types and mothering style. In her books she adapts one of the most widely used personality indicators, the Myers-Brigs Personality Type indicator, to help mothers discover their mothering style, strengths, struggles, needs and weaknesses.

Understanding your strengths helps you develop confidence as a mother. But more importantly, as a Life Coach I have learned that you MUST clearly identify your needs and weaknesses BEFORE you can hope to work on them!  That's why this book is so useful.

First Motherstyles helps you determine YOUR preference all four the Myers - Briggs preference categories. The first of these categories tells you how you  "plug into your personal energy source." Nothing could be more USEFUL!  Energy is, as Janet says, THE KEY to good mothering!   I've heard countless Life Coaches talk about the need for self-care, but rarely do they offer a useful way to determine what you need to do to take care of yourself. I've heard some women say, "If one more person tells me to take a bubble bath I'm going to SCREAM!"...and now I know why. 

The first section of Motherstyles helps you determine if you are an extrovert or an introvert and explains why this distinction is so important.  After explaining the difference between extroversion & introversion and how understanding *your* preference can help you restructure your life to support your needs, I have seen clients lives & relationships really turn around.  It's like a light bulb goes on and women figure *how* to get their needs met so they have more energy to give to their family.  It also helps to understand the needs of your spouse & kids!

Next, the book helps you determine how you prefer to gather information.  Do you rely on hard, concrete, visible facts  -- or do you trust your hunches and go with your intuition?  Do you tend to focus on your children’s practical needs as an expression of your love, or do you find those task mundane and prefer to focus on developing your children's inner world of emotion & imagination. Understanding your  preference (as well as your child’s preference) for sensing vs. intuition & is immensely helpful in understanding your strengths and weaknesses as a mother and how they interact with your other family members unique characteristics. I also love that she ends each chapter with useful tips for mothers with each kind of preference.

The next important preference to understand is how you prefer to make decisions and judgments. Are you primarily a feeler or a thinker?  Are you a mom who rushes in to comfort her child when  s/he is hurting or do you tend to give your children emotional space -- allowing them to learn & heal on their own? Again, each preference has its strengths and weaknesses and understanding *your* preference can really help you understand yourself and your family dynamic.

The final distinction to understand is the one about judging vs. perceiving.  This distinction mainly relates to how you prefer to organize your time, space & projects. Do you prefer order, structure & schedules or are you more spontaneous & flexible?  It's easy to see how your preference for one vs. the other can really impact your family life!

After you determine your preferences all four of the preference categories, then you'll learn more about you’re particular mothering profile. In other words, you’ll learn more about the combination of all of your preferences and how they interact. Then the book goes in-depth into how the personality types impact the dynamics of your family interaction. This section is particularly enlightening about your spouse & children! Finally, the comes back to focusing on moms again with a great section on how to recharge your batteries, balance your family with outside commitments and become "your best you."

While, no personality test can explain everything about you, the information that you can learn about YOURSELF from this book is simply incredible.  I have found it invaluable in my own life. Not only did it help me recognize my parenting strengths and weaknesses, but also it helped me to stop comparing myself to other mothers around me.  They've got their strengths and weaknesses  - and I've got mine.

I highly recommend this book to help you understand yourself better & become the best mom you can be!

Summary:

Give yourself the gift of this book! You won't regret it!

Click Here To Learn More About Motherstyles

Reader Comments (1)

This sounds like a great idea! I loved the myers briggs test when I took it several years ago (pre-mom years) and I found it very helpful in knowing why I am the way I am! What a great idea to apply it to mothering styles. I will most definitely be checking this out.
November 11, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterTara

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