One New Mom's Search For Solutions...

I'd like to introduce you to my friend Christi. Christi and I have never met...but we "hit it off" over the internet after I admired her simple, realistitc approach to nutrition and wellness.  I always thought we were kindred spirits...now I'm convinced of it.

You see Christi Lehner-Collins, a.k.a Boston Health Coach, has become a new mom...and now she really "gets it" as to why it can be so hard to for moms to take care of themselves on the most basic, physical level (let alone pampering! Who has time for that?!?).

I really admire Christi, because she is not hiding her struggle at all. She wrote beautifully & honestly about it in her newsletter...and I wanted to share it (with her permission) with all of you because, I know that reading about her struggle to nourish herself on the most basic level, somehow made me, and others feel more "normal." You'll see what I mean when you read on...

I also love the fact that she is not wallowing in her struggle, but very solution-oriented.  She is finding her own solutions one micro-babystep at a time -- with a good dose of humor to make it all a little easier too! 

The following is her commentary from her monthly newsletter called "Nourshing Nuggets," which I highly recommend.

After I read this essay, I dropped everything to call her and say "Welcome to the Mommy Club." If you enjoy this essay, surf on over to http://www.bostonhealthcoach.com and drop her a note, and/or sign up for her newletter. (I also recommend her DVD, "Healthy Shopper DVD", but more on that later...)

Here it is:

Christi's Commentary:

 

AACCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

If you're new to my newsletter, you may not know that I recently had my first baby, Evan.  He's now four months old, and fabulous! 

After spending a few months getting used to the crazy roller coaster that is motherhood (boy oh boy, do I respect moms with a passion now!)... I'm ready to get back to my writing.  After writing this newsletter every month for three years, it felt strange to miss four issues in a row.  It's good to be back!

And yes, this is indeed my June newsletter.  I started writing this one at the end of May.  I'm just finishing it now, four weeks into June.  That shows you how little I get done with Evan around!  It's hard to write when you've got 10-minute chunks of time here and there. I guess I'll get better at it as I go along.

THE MYTH

A lot of people assume that - since I'm a health counselor - I'm a superhealthy creature who eats seaweed and quinoa... goes to yoga class and kickboxing on a daily basis... and meditates every morning while drinking tea and grinding up flaxseeds to put in my homemade amaranth pancakes.

OK, I admit that pre-Evan, that scenario actually might have been pretty close to the truth. Before becoming a mom, I had a very cool self-care routine down pat, and I took extra good care of myself. I had an awesome "Healthy Balance."

But NOW...

THE REALITY

The reality is that these days (which I refer to as "Post-Evan") I'm struggling to find my new definition of "Healthy Balance." Now that I've got another human being depending on me for food, comfort and entertainment... night and day... it's a whole new ballgame. 

I say this not because I want sympathy... but I do want you to know that I totally understand how HARD it is to be healthy sometimes.

This health counselor has been humbled.

If you don't have a new baby, then perhaps you're taking care of a parent who is ill.  Or maybe you have just taken on a new job that's putting a lot of pressure on you.  You are training for a marathon.  You're in school.  You just moved to a new house.  You're volunteering all the time.  You've got a busy social schedule.  You're going on vacation.

Chances are, there's always something that will complete for your attention... something that constantly forces you to redefine your "Healthy Balance."

Once you've got things figured out, that's always when life changes and throws you off balance, isn't it?!

This newsletter is dedicated to helping you find a healthy balance again.

THE SWEET POTATO STORY

I first got a glimpse that my Healthy Balance had changed when my darling friend Fee (also a health counselor) came over from Paris to help me out when Evan was three weeks old.  She stayed for a week, cooked me fresh food every day, put it in front of me, filled up my tea mug, and quietly observed me and my baby.

At the end of the week Fee said, "My dear, I've been putting fresh, delicious meals in front of you... and you STILL don't have time to eat because you're so busy taking care of Evan.  What in the world are you going to do when I'm not here? You're going to waste away!"

** Not having time to eat was a concept that was completely incomprehensible to me before becoming a mother.  I simply didn't understand how a new mom couldn't have time to eat.  I mean, c'mon, it doesn't take that long to put a sandwich in your mouth, does it? **

Did I mention I've been humbled?

There are things you just don't understand until you have kids!

Agreeing with Fee that starvation was quite possibly my inevitable fate, we sat down to come up with a list of fast, easy meals that even I - a New Mom - could make. 

I dropped her off at the airport smiling smugly, knowing that I could do this.  I had the list.  The list outlined mini meals that were so easy and simple... I could do it, even in my sleep-deprived, weepy New Mom state.

The next day, I went into the kitchen to make sweet potatoes.  According to Fee and my New Mom Food list, this would be a simple task consisting of:  Poke holes in the sweet potatoes.  Put potatoes in oven.  Turn on timer.  When timer goes off, remove sweet potatoes and eat them.

In reality, my post-Evan sweet potato cooking fest went more like this:  Poke holes in sweet potatoes.  Put in oven.  Turn on timer.  Congratulate myself for making it this far ("Why can't other mothers eat healthy after having a baby?  This is SO EASY!  Must be because I'm a health counselor.").  Timer goes off in the middle of a diaper change. Evan is wailing at the top of his lungs. By the time I finally turn timer off, I'm wailing, too.   We go to sit on the couch and breastfeed for what seems like the hundreth time in an hour.

THE REALIZATION

Three days later, sitting at dinner with my in-laws, I let out a gasp when I realized that the sweet potatoes were STILL IN MY OVEN.  I never took them out and ate them.  When I got home from dinner, I opened up the oven and THERE THEY WERE.  Hard as rocks.  Three days old.  Totally inedible.

And I thought to myself:

"You fool.  Now you know why other New Moms can't eat healthy after having a baby.  This is SO NOT easy!  ESPECIALLY for a health counselor!"

My post-Evan cooking disasters got even funnier as time went on.  There was the time I left muffins in the oven for three WEEKS before realizing my mistake.  There were many times I reheated a mug of tea ten times before realizing that I would never have the chance to drink that cup of tea before going to bed.  There was the time I started making hardboiled eggs (another of Fee's 'easy' snacks) but then forgot to turn off the water while breastfeeding and alas... the water boiled down to nothing and the eggs exploded in the pot.

What's a girl to do?  How to regain the balance?

Well, I'm still not eating as healthy as I'd like these days - in fact, I'm still not eating as MUCH as I'd like these days.  But I'm slowly but surely starting to figure out what works and what doesn't.  There are a few tips that I'd like to share with you. Perhaps they will help you fit a more healthy balance into your day.

Even if you're not a New Mom.

I now start out by asking myself, "What's MOST important to me this week?"  I take things on a week-by-week approach now.  The first few weeks, I concentrated on my food.  Then once my cooking became a bit more routine, I focused on my workouts.  I'm just now starting to get back into meditating mode.  Homemade pancakes probably won't happen until Evan enters college.

Here are some of the solutions that have worked for me recently:

Struggle #1: "I Forget to Take my Supplements"

I was having trouble remembering to take my prenatal vitamins, essential fatty acids, green drink, and fiber every day. I was lucky if I got to one of them. I was also forgetting to eat breakfast.  But I figured out that if I put all of my supplement powders into a fruit smoothie in the morning, I would not only remember them, I'd get breakfast in, too.  Oh and I actually had to list the supplements on a post-it on the fridge, and put them all right near the blender for easy access.

Are you forgetting to take a supplement or eat a certain food?  What's one way you can remind yourself to make it happen?

Struggle #2: "I'm just not sure what I need to do to be as healthy as possible right now."

Even health counselors struggle with this one from time to time.  After Evan was born, I came up with a list of things I needed to do to get myself healthy again, but the list was huge.  I knew I wouldn't be able to do all the things on the list, but I couldn't prioritize.  Heck, after he was born I could barely even think straight or stay awake... so even making a shopping list was tough. 

As a health counselor, I can self-diagnose myself (and I usually do) but I knew that I needed (and wanted) the support of someone else.

So I booked an appointment with an amazing naturopath doctor... someone I'd never seen before, but whose personality and background mesh well with mine.

I spent 2 hours in her office. It was amazing.  She let me bring Evan with me, since I didn't have a babysitter yet... and I spent two hours pretty much bawling my eyes out. It was so great to have someone "taking care of me," the way I usually take care of my own clients.

She asked me lots of questions - like I do with my clients - and didn't judge me when I made excuses or didn't have answers right away.  I asked her questions about all the things I wanted to do for myself, and she helped me prioritize.

She has two kids so she could totally understand why I was having trouble adjusting to motherhood.  She gently pushed me to see where I was letting myself down by putting others first.  She validated the changes I wanted to make and even wrote out a 'homework sheet' so I could share it with my husband when I got home.

That appointment was worth every penny (and it wasn't cheap!).

Could you benefit from having someone listen to you... help you prioritize... give you a fresh outlook on your health?  If so, perhaps a visit to a naturopath or a holistic health counselor is in order. 

If you're used to only getting 10 minutes of your doctor's time, you're in for a real treat!   Feel free to contact me if you need a referral.

Struggle #3: "I Never Have Time to Work Out Anymore"

My biggest frustration was not having the time or energy to do my typical workouts anymore.  I love working out and I feel terrible if I don't get to move my body.

First, I had to adjust my expectations.  Instead of a 60-90 minute workout, I do a 30-minute workout.  Somedays it's only a 15-minute workout.  But whatever I can do, I do.  If I only have 15-minutes, I push myself hard.

At first, if I didn't have a big chunk of time, I wouldn't work out. I'd "'wait until tomorrow." But I found that I missed way too many workouts that way.  So now I head out even if I only have 15 minutes.  That's enough to work up a good sweat.

I used to be an evening workout girl, but lately, I've had to start working out in the morning after I feed Evan and hand him off to Ben for some daddy time. It's the only way to ensure that the workout will get into my day.  Otherwise too many other things come up. 

Whenever I think about doing a workout, I GO.  I don't do "one last thing" first anymore, because that one thing will turn into a wasted workout day.

I now do workouts that I can do right from my front door.  I roller blade, run, walk, etc.  I bought a yoga DVD so I can do yoga at home.   I look outside the box for workout moments (i.e. doing squats while emptying the dishwasher with Evan in the sling for 20 extra pounds of weight).  I go up and down the stairs a lot.  I do sit-ups randomly throughout the day.  I do lunges while I'm pushing him in the stroller.

It's my mission to figure out how to move my body every day.  It may not be glamorous, but for now, it's what works.

Is there a change you can make to fit your workouts into your current routine?

Struggle #4: "I Never Have Time to Meditate Anymore"

I used to be much calmer when I was doing my Hypnobirthing meditations, but I don't have the luxury of 30 minutes to lay still on my bed anymore and breathe.

So, I looked at all the new things that were now occupying my time and picked breastfeeding as my new meditation time.  I breastfeed for several hours every day, so why not use that time?  Now, I sit down and simply breathe while I'm feeding Evan.  It makes me feel calm and sane (that could also be the hormones!). 

I also use red lights as a reminder to stop and breathe.

The other thing I do to de-stress is get in the shower.  Even if I'm still clean from my morning shower.  The running of the hot water always calms me down and makes me feel better.  My friend Amy suggests getting in the shower and covering your ears with your hands (the water sounds just like rain on a roof, she says, and I agree!).

Could you use your commute or your shower time as a de-stressor today?

Struggle #5: "I don't have time to cook healthy."

The biggest help for me these days has been my rice cooker.  For a New Mom or a Busy Person, a rice cooker or slow cooker is a lifesaver.  Why? Because it cooks the food for you, it shuts itself off before things burn or overflow (!), and it keeps the food warm for you.  Bingo! 

I cook rice, millet and quinoa in my rice cooker so I always have a good whole grain base on hand.  Then when I'm ready to eat breakfast, I throw in some dates and nuts.  For lunch or dinner, I throw in beans, cherry tomatoes, shrimp, spinach, and pre-cut mushrooms (no chopping required!).

I noticed that the days I eat the best are the days I put a few bowls out with snacks in them, like walnuts, baby carrots, etc.  If it's ready to go, I'll eat it. If not, I forget.

The other three healthy cooking lifesavers have been my old stand-bys for ages.  I forgot about them in the first few months of motherhood... but once I went back to them, they've helped out tremendously. Here they are:

The Default Menu (click here to read more)

The Restock List (click here to read more)

My One-Pot Wonders (click here to read more)

So, it might sound like this health counselor is going back to the basics.  And it's true.  I'm going back to Square One.  There's nothing wrong with that.  We all get off track because of life events, a busy social calendar, a health situation.  That's why I call it a "Healthy Balance." We're bound to move in and out of balance from time to time.

So, if you've fallen off the health wagon recently, hopefully this newsletter inspired you to pick yourself up and just start back to the basics. 

Just start with the question, "What's most important to me this week?" 

Follow that up with the question, "What's one thing that I could do to make this happen?"

If you still can't come up with a solution then you may need to do one of two things:

1. Reduce your expectations.  If you're an overachiever on the health front, then expect less of yourself.  15 minute workouts are better than none.  A healthy bowl of brown rice is better than a take out meal.  Aim low if you need to while you get started.

OR...

2. Ask yourself, "If someone offered me a million dollars to make this one thing happen, what would I do to make it work?"

I guarantee you'll come up with something!

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 Sarah's Note:

So you don't have to scroll up to the top of screen:

Visit Christi at www.BostonHealthCoach.com (and welcome her to the Mommy Club! Tell her I sent you ;)