Okay girlfriends, let's talk about SOLUTIONS! (That is why you're here - right?)
In my mind, solutions generally fall into two categories:
- Solutions that work from the Outside-in.
- Solutions that work from the Inside-out.
Is that confusing? Please let me explain.
Solutions that work from the Outside-In involve using tools or programs that are external to you. For example, using a day planner to manage your time, following a particular diet to lose weight, or finding the best money management software to help you stay within your budget, are all what I call "outside" solutions. They are all tools that someone else created to help you solve some challenge in your life. Sometimes you CAN just find the right program, tool or gizmo to solve a problem and improve your life forever. Sometimes "outside solutions" just CLICK! They really can make your life easier. (I just love searching for & sharing these kinds of solutions. That's why this part of my website is dedicated to reviewing the best "outside" solutions that really work for me and my clients.)
On the other hand, sometimes you can try a bunch of "outside" solutions and nothing clicks -- that's when it's time to try looking INSIDE to for a solution. Solutions that work from the Inside-out involve deep, transformative personal growth. They involve revisiting your experiences and preconcived notions about the world, uncovering your hidden motivations, and working on changing patterns of behavior that were set long ago. As a Life Coach, I often help my clients discover their own solutions from the Inside-Out and my "Mom Solutions Podcast" (coming in April) will focus on these kinds of solutions.
Here are some examples to help clarify the difference between a solutions that work from the outside in vs. inside out.
* Sometimes you can buy serveral day planners or PDAs to help you manage your time better - but if you can't say "no" to anyone who asks you to do something - then no matter how many day planners you use - you'll never have any time for yourself. You need to look inside yourself to develop the confidence and self-esteem to set boundaries.
* Likewise, some people try diet after diet after diet, but if NOTHING helps you lose weight...you may need to inside yourself at the emotional reasons that cause you eat.
* Sometimes you can read all of the parenting books in the world, but if you still can't stop yourself from yelling at your kids on a daily basis, you probably need to get some counseling to get to the source of your anger.
* You may want your house to be more organized - but you can't organize clutter! You may need look into the emotional reasons why you are holding on to SO MUCH STUFF!
Anyway, that's how I think of "solutions" -- I'm curious...does this make sense to anyone else out there -- or only in my own head? Or...is this a big "Duh...Yeah Sarah, I KNEW THAT ALREADY!"